Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you so much, everybody. Please have a seat, have a seat. Before I get started, can we get the new presidential setup out here? 非常感谢。谢谢。十分感谢大家。请坐，请坐。开始之前，能把新的总统专用布景搬上来吗？
It's worked before. 以前这招管用过。
That's more like it. 这才像话。
It is great to be back. What a year, huh? I usually start these dinners with a few self-deprecating jokes. After my stellar 2013, what could I possibly talk about? 很高兴又回到这里。这一年可真够呛，是不是？这种晚宴我通常会先讲几个自嘲的笑话。可经历了我“辉煌”的2013年，我还能从何说起呢？
I admit it -- last year was rough. Sheesh. At one point things got so bad, the 47 percent called Mitt Romney to apologize. 我承认，去年不好过。唉，情况一度糟到连那“百分之四十七”的人都打电话向米特·罗姆尼道歉。
Of course, we rolled out healthcare.gov. That could have gone better. In 2008 my slogan was, "Yes We Can." In 2013 my slogan was, "Control-Alt-Delete." On the plus side, they did turn the launch of healthcare.gov into one of the year's biggest movies. 当然，我们推出了联邦医保网站。事情本可以办得更好。2008年我的口号是“是的，我们能”；2013年的口号却成了“同时按下控制、替换和删除键”。好的一面是，他们确实把医保网站上线拍成了当年最卖座的电影之一。
But rather than dwell on the past, I would like to pivot to this dinner. Let's welcome our headliner this evening, Joel McHale. On "Community," Joel plays a preening, self-obsessed narcissist. So this dinner must be a real change of pace for you. 不过，与其纠结过去，我还是把话题转回今晚的晚宴。欢迎今晚的主角乔尔·麦克海尔。在《废柴联盟》里，他演的是个爱卖弄、自我陶醉的自恋狂。所以今晚对你来说，一定是一次彻底不同的体验。
I want to thank the White House Correspondents Association for hosting us here tonight. I am happy to be here, even though I am a little jet-lagged from my trip to Malaysia. The lengths we have to go to get CNN coverage these days. I think they're still searching for their table. 感谢白宫记者协会今晚设宴。尽管刚从马来西亚回来，还有点时差反应，我仍很高兴来到这里。如今为了得到有线电视新闻网的报道，我们得跑这么远。我想他们还在找自己的桌子呢。
MSNBC is here. They're a little overwhelmed. They've never seen an audience this big before. 美国微软全国广播公司的人也来了。他们有点招架不住，因为以前从没见过这么多观众。
But, look, everybody is trying to keep up with this incredibly fast-changing media landscape. For example, I got a lot of grief on cable news for promoting Obamacare to young people on Between Two Ferns. But that's what young people like to watch. And to be fair, I am not the first person on television between two potted plants. 不过，大家都在努力跟上变化飞快的媒体环境。比如，我上《两盆蕨之间》向年轻人推广奥巴马医改，在有线电视新闻里挨了不少批评。可年轻人就是爱看那个节目。公平地说，我也不是第一个坐在两盆盆栽之间上电视的人。
Sometimes I do feel disrespected by you reporters. But that's okay. Seattle Seahawk cornerback Richard Sherman is here tonight. And he gave me some great tips on how to handle it. Jake Tapper, don't you ever talk about me like that! I'm the best President in the game! 有时候，我确实觉得各位记者不太尊重我。不过没关系。西雅图海鹰队的角卫理查德·谢尔曼今晚也来了，他教了我几招应对办法。杰克·塔珀，你可别再那样说我！我是这场比赛里最厉害的总统！
What do you think, Richard? Was that good? A little more feeling next time? 理查德，你觉得怎么样？演得好吗？下次得再投入点感情？
While we're talking sports, just last month, a wonderful story -- an American won the Boston Marathon for first time in 30 years. Which was inspiring and only fair, since a Kenyan has been president for the last six. Had to even things out. 说到体育，上个月有件好事：三十年来第一次，有美国人赢得波士顿马拉松冠军。这很鼓舞人心，也很公平——毕竟过去六年当总统的是个“肯尼亚人”，总得扯平嘛。
We have some other athletes here tonight, including Olympic snowboarding gold medalist Jamie Anderson is here. We're proud of her. Incredibly talented young lady. Michelle and I watched the Olympics -- we cannot believe what these folks do -- death-defying feats -- haven't seen somebody pull a "180" that fast since Rand Paul disinvited that Nevada rancher from this dinner. 今晚还有其他运动员到场，包括奥运会单板滑雪金牌得主杰米·安德森。我们为她感到骄傲，她是位才华出众的年轻人。米歇尔和我看了奥运会，简直不敢相信运动员能做出那些冒着生命危险的动作。不过，要说有人转向“一百八十度”之快，还得数兰德·保罗取消邀请那位内华达州牧场主出席今晚晚宴的时候。
As a general rule, things don't like end well if the sentence starts, Let me tell you something "I know about the negro." You don't really need to hear the rest of it. Just a tip for you -- don't start your sentence that way. 一般来说，如果一句话以“我来告诉你们，我对黑人知道些什么”开头，结局多半不会好。后面的话也不用再听了。给大家一个小建议：别那样开头。
Speaking of Rand Paul -- Colorado legalized marijuana this year, an interesting social experiment. I do hope it doesn't lead to a whole lot of paranoid people who think that the federal government is out to get them and listening to their phone calls. That would be a problem. 说到兰德·保罗，科罗拉多州今年将大麻合法化，这是一项有趣的社会实验。我真希望它不会催生一大群疑神疑鬼的人，以为联邦政府要对付他们、监听他们的电话。那可就麻烦了。
And speaking of conservative heroes, the Koch brothers bought a table here tonight. But as usual, they used a shadowy right-wing organization as a front. Hello, Fox News. 再说说保守派的英雄，科赫兄弟今晚买了一桌席位。但和往常一样，他们借一个神秘的右翼组织作掩护。福克斯新闻，你们好。
I'm just kidding. Let's face it, Fox, you'll miss me when I'm gone. It will be harder to convince the American people that Hillary was born in Kenya. 我开玩笑的。福克斯，老实说，等我卸任你们会想我的。到时候，要说服美国人民相信希拉里出生在肯尼亚，可就更难了。
A lot of us really are concerned about the way big money is influencing our politics. I remember when a Super PAC was just me buying Marlboro 100s instead of regulars. 我们许多人确实担心大笔金钱对政治的影响。我记得，以前所谓的“超级政治行动委员会”，不过是我把普通万宝路香烟换成了万宝路百支装。
Of course, now that it's 2014, Washington is obsessed on the midterms. Folks are saying that with my sagging poll numbers, my fellow Democrats don't really want me campaigning with them. And I don't think that's true -- although I did notice the other day that Sasha needed a speaker at career day, and she invited Bill Clinton. I was a little hurt by that. 当然，到了2014年，华盛顿都在盯着中期选举。有人说我民调下滑，民主党同僚并不想让我替他们助选。我觉得这不是真的——不过，前几天萨莎学校的职业日需要一位演讲嘉宾，她却邀请了比尔·克林顿。我有点受伤。
Both sides are doing whatever it takes to win the ruthless game. Republicans -- this is a true story -- Republicans actually brought in a group of consultants to teach their candidates how to speak to women. This is true. And I don't know if it will work with women, but I understand that America's teenage boys are signing up to run for the Senate in droves. 双方都在为赢得这场残酷的竞争使尽招数。共和党人——这是真事——他们竟然请来一组顾问，教候选人怎么跟女性说话。这是真的。我不知道这一招对女性管不管用，但听说美国的十几岁男孩已经成群结队地报名竞选参议员了。
Anyway, while you guys focus on the horserace, I'm going to do what I do -- I'm going to be focused on everyday Americans. Just yesterday, I read a heartbreaking letter -- you know I get letters from folks from around the country; every day I get 10 that I read -- this one got to me. A Virginia man who's been stuck in the same part-time job for years; no respect from his boss; no chance to get ahead. I really wish Eric Cantor would stop writing me. You can just pick up the phone, Eric. 总之，你们尽管关注选举的输赢，我会做我该做的事，关注普通美国人。就在昨天，我读到一封令人心酸的来信。你们知道，全国各地的人都给我写信，我每天读十封；这一封特别触动我。写信的是弗吉尼亚州的一位男子，多年来一直困在同一份兼职工作里，老板不尊重他，也没有晋升机会。我真希望埃里克·坎托别再给我写信了。埃里克，你打个电话就行。
And I'm feeling sorry -- believe it or not -- for the Speaker of the House, as well. These days, the House Republicans actually give John Boehner a harder time than they give me, which means orange really is the new black. 信不信由你，我也开始同情众议院议长了。这些日子，众议院共和党人给约翰·博纳制造的麻烦，比给我的还多。看来，“橘色才是新黑色”还真没说错。
But I have not given up the idea of working with Congress. In fact, two weeks ago, Senator Ted Cruz and I, we got a bill done together. And I have to say, the signing ceremony was something special. We've got a picture of it I think. 但我还没放弃与国会合作的想法。实际上，两周前，特德·克鲁兹参议员和我还一道促成了一项法案。我得说，签署仪式很特别。我想我们有一张照片。
Look, I know, Washington seems more dysfunctional than ever. Gridlock has gotten so bad in this town you have to wonder: What did we do to piss off Chris Christie so bad? 听着，我知道华盛顿看起来比以往任何时候都难以运转。这里的僵局严重到让人忍不住问：我们到底怎么惹恼克里斯·克里斯蒂了？
One issue, for example, we haven't been able to agree on is unemployment insurance. Republicans continue to refuse to extend it. And you know what, I am beginning to think they've got a point. If you want to get paid while not working, you should have to run for Congress just like everybody else. 比如，失业保险就是我们一直无法达成一致的问题。共和党人仍然拒绝延长这项保障。你知道吗，我开始觉得他们或许有道理：如果想不干活还领工资，就该像其他人一样去竞选国会议员。
Of course, there is one thing that keeps Republicans busy. They have tried more than 50 times to repeal Obamacare. Despite that, 8 million people signed up for health care in the first open enrollment. Which does lead one to ask, How well does Obamacare have to work before you don't want to repeal it? What if everybody's cholesterol drops to 120? What if your yearly checkup came with tickets to a Clippers game? Not the old, Donald Sterling Clippers -- the new Oprah Clippers. Would that be good enough? What if they gave Mitch McConnell a pulse? What is it going to take? 不过，有一件事确实让共和党人忙个不停。他们已经试了五十多次，要废除奥巴马医改。尽管如此，首个开放投保期仍有八百万人登记参保。这就让人想问：奥巴马医改到底要多成功，你们才肯放弃废除它？如果人人的胆固醇都降到一百二十呢？如果年度体检还附赠快船队球票呢？我说的不是过去唐纳德·斯特林的快船队，而是新的奥普拉版快船队。这够不够好？如果它还能让米奇·麦康奈尔有了脉搏呢？究竟怎样才行？
Anyway, this year, I've promised to use more executive actions to get things done without Congress. My critics call this the "imperial presidency." The truth is, I just show up every day in my office and do my job. I've got a picture of this, I think. 总之，今年我承诺更多地采取行政行动，绕过国会把事情办成。批评者称这是“帝王式总统制”。事实是，我每天只是到办公室履行职责。我想我有张照片可以说明。
You would think they'd appreciate a more assertive approach, considering that the new conservative darling is none other than Vladimir Putin. Last year, Pat Buchanan said Putin is "headed straight for the Nobel Peace Prize." He said this. Now I know it sounds crazy but to be fair, they give those to just about anybody these days. So it could happen. 你会以为他们欣赏更强硬的做法，毕竟保守派的新宠不是别人，正是弗拉基米尔·普京。去年，帕特·布坎南说普京“正直奔诺贝尔和平奖而去”。他真这么说了。现在，我知道这听起来荒唐，但公平地说，这奖如今差不多谁都能拿。所以，还真有可能。
But it's not just Pat -- Rudy Giuliani said Putin is "what you call a leader." Mike Huckabee and Sean Hannity keep talking about his bare chest, which is kind of weird. Look it up -- they talk about it a lot. 而且不只是帕特。鲁迪·朱利安尼说普京才是“所谓的领袖”。迈克·赫卡比和肖恩·汉尼提还老谈论他光着上身的样子，这就有点古怪了。你们自己去查，他们真说过很多次。
It is strange to think that I have just two and a half years left in this office. Everywhere I look, there are reminders that I only hold this job temporarily. 一想到我在这里的任期只剩两年半，就觉得奇怪。无论看向哪里，都有东西提醒我，这份工作只是暂时属于我。
But it's a long time between now and 2016, and anything can happen. You may have heard the other day, Hillary had to dodge a flying shoe at a press conference. I love that picture. 但距离2016年还早，什么事都可能发生。你们或许听说了，前几天希拉里在一场记者会上不得不躲开一只飞来的鞋。我很喜欢那张照片。
Regardless of what happens, I've run my last campaign and I'm beginning to think about my legacy. Some of you know -- Mayor Rahm Emanuel recently announced he is naming a high school in Chicago after me, which is extremely humbling. I was even more flattered to hear Rick Perry, who is here tonight, is doing the same thing in Texas. Take a look. Thank you, Rick. It means a lot to me. 不论将来怎样，我已经打完最后一场竞选，开始思考自己会留下什么。有些人知道，芝加哥市长拉姆·伊曼纽尔最近宣布，要以我的名字命名当地一所高中，这让我深感荣幸。更让我受宠若惊的是，今晚在场的里克·佩里也要在得克萨斯州这么做。大家看看。谢谢你，里克。这对我意义重大。
And I intend to enjoy all the free time that I will have. George W. Bush took up painting after he left office, which inspired me to take up my own artistic side. I'm sure we've got a shot of this. Maybe not. The joke doesn't work without the slide. Oh well. Assume that it was funny. Does this happen to you, Joel? It does? Okay. 我还打算好好享受将来的闲暇时间。乔治·W·布什离任后开始画画，这启发我也去发掘自己的艺术细胞。我肯定准备了一张作品照片。也许没有。没了幻灯片，这个笑话就不灵了。算了，你们就当它很好笑吧。乔尔，你也遇到过这种事吗？遇到过？好吧。
On a more serious note, tonight reminds us that we really are lucky to live in a country where reporters get to give a head of state a hard time on a daily basis -- and then, once a year, give him or her the chance, at least, to try to return the favor. 说得严肃一点，今晚提醒我们，生活在这样一个国家实属幸运：记者每天都能为难国家元首，而每年还有一次，至少让国家元首有机会试着还以颜色。
But we also know that not every journalist, or photographer, or crewmember is so fortunate, because even as we celebrate the free press tonight, our thoughts are with those in places around the globe like Ukraine, and Afghanistan, and Syria, and Egypt, who risk everything -- in some cases, even give their lives -- to report the news. 但我们也知道，并非每位记者、摄影师或摄制组成员都如此幸运。今晚我们庆祝新闻自由，同时也惦念着乌克兰、阿富汗、叙利亚、埃及等地的同行。他们冒着一切风险报道新闻，有些人甚至为此献出生命。
And what tonight also reminds us is that the fight for full and fair access goes beyond the chance to ask a question. As Steve mentioned, decades ago, an African American who wanted to cover his or her President might be barred from journalism school, burdened by Jim Crow, and, once in Washington, banned from press conferences. But after years of effort, black editors and publishers began meeting with FDR's press secretary, Steve Early. 今晚还提醒我们，争取充分而公平的采访机会，意义不只是获得提问机会。正如史蒂夫提到的，几十年前，一位想报道总统的非裔美国人可能被新闻学院拒之门外，受种族隔离制度压制；即使到了华盛顿，也不能参加记者会。但经过多年努力，黑人报纸的编辑和出版人开始与富兰克林·罗斯福总统的新闻秘书史蒂夫·厄尔利会面。
And then they met with the President himself, who declared that a black reporter would get a credential. And even when Harry McAlpin made history as the first African American to attend a presidential news conference, he wasn't always welcomed by the other reporters. But he was welcomed by the President, who told him, I'm glad to see you, McAlpin, and I'm very happy to have you here. 后来，他们还见到了总统本人，总统宣布会给黑人记者发放采访证。哈里·麦卡尔平成为首位参加总统记者会的非裔美国人，创造了历史，但其他记者并不总是欢迎他。总统却欢迎他，对他说：“很高兴见到你，麦卡尔平；我非常高兴你来到这里。”
Now, that sentiment might have worn off once Harry asked him a question or two -- and Harry's battles continued. But he made history. And we're s proud of Sherman and his family for being here tonight, and the White House Correspondents Association for creating a scholarship in Harry's name. 当然，哈里问过一两个问题后，总统的这份热情或许就淡了，而哈里的抗争仍在继续。但他创造了历史。今晚谢尔曼和他的家人来到这里，我们为他们感到自豪；白宫记者协会还以哈里的名字设立了奖学金，我们也为此感到骄傲。
For over 100 years, even as the White House Correspondents Association has told the story of America's progress, you've lived it, too -- gradually allowing equal access to women, and minorities, and gays, and Americans with disabilities. And, yes, radio, and television, and Internet reporters, as well. And through it all, you've helped make sure that even as societies change, our fundamental commitment to the interaction between those who govern and those who ask questions doesn't change. And as Jay will attest, it's a legacy you carry on enthusiastically every single day. 一百多年来，白宫记者协会在讲述美国进步历程的同时，也亲历了这种进步：它逐步让女性、少数族裔、同性恋者和残障美国人享有平等采访机会。当然，广播、电视和互联网记者也是如此。一路走来，你们帮助确保，即使社会发生变化，执政者与提问者之间交流的基本承诺也不会改变。杰伊可以作证，你们每天都热心延续着这份传统。
And because this is the 100th anniversary of the Correspondents' Association, I actually recorded an additional brief video thanking all of you for your hard work. Can we run the video? 因为今年是白宫记者协会成立一百周年，我还特地录了一段简短视频，感谢大家辛勤工作。可以播放视频吗？
[Video fails to play.] ［视频未能播放。］
President Obama: What's going on? I was told this would work. Does anybody know how to fix this? 奥巴马总统：怎么回事？他们告诉我这能播放。有人知道怎么修吗？
[HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius enters from backstage.] ［卫生与公众服务部部长凯瑟琳·西贝利厄斯从后台上场。］
President Obama: Oh, thank you. You got it? 奥巴马总统：哦，谢谢。你能搞定？
Secretary Sebelius: I got this -- I see it all the time. There, that should work. 西贝利厄斯部长：交给我吧——我总碰到这种事。好了，这下应该能播放了。
[Video plays.] ［视频播放。］
President Obama: Thank you very much, everybody. God bless you. And God bless America, and thank you, Kathleen Sebelius. 奥巴马总统：非常感谢大家。愿上帝保佑你们，愿上帝保佑美国。也谢谢你，凯瑟琳·西贝利厄斯。
